Monday, November 25, 2013


Well, Every year around this time I write a blog describing my year. Holy Moly!!! So many firsts for me this year! I have seen so so so much! I finally made it to China! I made it to Seattle! I have traveled to Green Bay, WI and Chicago IL. I have taught hundreds or Airgas employees, and couldn't be happier. My best friend of all time moved in with me. I made huge decisions in my life about what I want and what I see happening in my future. SO much has happened. People have come into my life that I think back and just sit there and say, how did I do this before without them? Some have gone too. I think that life works that way sometimes. I love my friends, I feel like I have alot of them, but this year has been a struggle. I have had many ups and downs. I have seen alot of people I love get hurt. So this is my "Thankful Blog" It is going to be long, so I apologize now, but here we go!

Friends First:
TO Jimi and Matt: Holy crap guys! Can you believe we have only known each other for 9 months! Yo two are two of the most important people in my life! Thanks for being so vital to my sanity!

Sarah and Patrick: Without you guys I truly would go crazy! You guys are always there to keep it interesting. Thanks to Sarah and Patrick for the little talks and being there for me when I needed it.

Rochell: HOLY CRAP! My soul mate! I don;'t even know where to start! I love you! Like crazy love you! All I need to say is VERSES!

Steven: You already know kiddo! Truly one of my dearest friends! Always there! Thank you!

Brit and Matt: So happy we are where we are! You guys are amazing! Love all the time we have spent together this past year!

Allie: So proud of you! Thanks for all the fun times this past year! (Horrible)

Ty and all at the Van: I know I haven't been there much this year, but when I am there you guys make it a good time!

To all my work people: This past year has gone by so so so so fast! Can you believe it? I love each and every one of you! You keep me going when I need a pep talk. I have grown to accept most of you as almost family! I can not wait to see what next year brings for us!

To my Family:

J & J: You have done so much this year! Annabelle is the most amazing little girl in the world. She stole my heart from the moment I saw her. Your family is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for all that you do for me while I am on the road. It does mean alot to me!! Love you all so much!

Scott: Man, did we just become best friends? (Step Brothers reference) Always, without a discussion you have been there for me this past year. I am the crazy sister who won't leave you alone. I'm sorry about that! I love you so much bubba! I love how close we have become. Thanks for the chats, and the real words. You never BS me and I appreciate that! Thanks for giving me time with your sons. They are growing up to be honorable men because of you!

Dad (Papa): You are it. That's all I can say! I love you dad! Your sacrifice and what you do on a daily basis is astounding! Thank you for always being there. Thank you for talking sense into me when I need it. Thank you for being the most incredible dad! I love you more than anything!

Mom: HOLY CRAP!!! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! I am so proud of you! You are "the reason". I love you, and I can not even begin to explain how I feel about our relationship. You have gone through so much! The sacrifice that you have done as well is amazing. It is such a short term thing then, you have the rest of your life! I love you more than there are stars in the sky!

If I have forgotten anyone I am sorry. I am thankful for each and everyone of you! You have a special place in my heart, I promise you. I am going to ask for a prayer though! Pray for me to be at peace with the decisions I am making. Ask God to prepare me for what I am supposed to do.

Thanks for reading! I pray everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!  Love to all!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

My search begins....

I love to research. I love reading and learning. I have always felt this way, but now I have had one of my dearest friends move in with me, and with her being here, it has renewed my desire for knowledge. So I am beginning a new research adventure. LOVE. There is one word in the English language that describes love. My dear friend got me hooked on this. She started it, and I am going to go with it and see what knowledge I can gain as well. So here we go.
Love! What is love? How do we, as humans, describe love and all it entails. As a follower of Christ, the Bible states that God is love. So as I research this, of course, I am going to find what the Bible describes as love. I have done this research before, but this is going to be in depth. I want to be able to know, without question, what love is.
English as a language is lacking in the description of love. If I were in a new relationship with a man, and it was only weeks into it, I feel you can develop love for someone in that amount of time. As a society, we have taken this word, and made it scary. We have made it this untouchable thing that we can not "achieve" until we "know" this person. I can have love for someone I just met. Can't we all? I have a niece that is going to be born in the next few weeks. I haven't met her. I have no idea what she looks like, or how she is going to act or be like. I have no idea what her personality traits are going to be. I have no idea what kind of person she is, but I can say with out question that  I love her. I can't wait to meet her. I can't wait until I hold her for the first time. Yet, society says it takes time to develop love. So if I love my new niece already, how can this be true? Like I said before, English is lacking in the description of love. We only have one word for this emotion, and why? Why is this so difficult for us as humans to understand? This is why I am researching it.
Websters Dictionary gives us the English definition of love, and here we go, (1) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. (2) attraction based on a sexual desire. (3) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.
Okay, so we know it is a type of admiration. So here we go with the English language again. If I say I love someone verses I admire someone, there is a type of miscommunication isn't there? Why are we so restricted to one word to describe love for another person? I love my brothers. I also love my parents, and my nephews and sister-in-laws. But I also love my close friends. I love my job. I also love my jeep. But all of those loves are so different. The way I love my Dad, is not the same way I love the inanimate object in my garage. Crazy huh? So, I have decided to start with a writer who is very famous. C.S Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves. I am currently reading it. (Pretty amazing by the way) But it talks about the four types of love that is found in the bible.
  • Agape
  • Eros
  • Philia
  • Storge
Agape is described as selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. the highest of all the loves in the bible. I describe it as God's love.
Eros is described as physical, sensual love between a husband and a wife.
Philia is described as close, friendship love, brotherly love.
Storge is described as family love. The bond among mothers, fathers and brothers, and sisters.

So, in Greek, there are four types of love that are discussed in the Bible. Can we have all of these with people in our lives? Absolutely!! Not all at the same time, but some can develop from others. For example, I can have Philia love with someone, that can turn into Eros love. What I am getting at is what love is a very broad word, that can and most of the time misinterpreted over a period of time. No matter who says what, you can have love for whoever, whenever. And who is to judge to say you don't or can't love someone so quickly. The more in depth I get, the more I will write. This is it for today. I can't wait to write more!!!!

Love to all!!!  :)

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Understanding the Path

Knowing that I am supposed to love people and take care of people and put others before myself. I know that I am to love as Christ loved. That is what I have tried to do for the majority of my adult life. Now, there is a very fine line that comes with understanding how far one most go to love like Christ. Am I supposed to sacrifice my happiness to do this task that has been put in front of me? How far am I to go with this? If you ask anyone that knows me, I do love unconditionally. I love from the deepest part of my soul. I have been in relationships where I have put everything I know and everyone I "loved" on the back burner for that one person. And look where it got me.
I have always been the one that everyone counts on. I am always the one that everyone comes to. I have always played that role, and I know a lot of people count on me, and I have lived in this role for the longest time. I am not wanting to tell everyone to screw off, or that I don't care. Because I do. I care more than what you think I do. I care so much it takes over my own life, and my own emotions and I can not separate my own issues with that of the people that I love. I am called to love. Not to fix, not to mend broken hearts. That is God's job. This discussion of love and my roles and responsibility is so difficult for me. I want everyone around me to be happy. I want everyone to know the joy I do when I am fully engulfed in the love that my God has given me. I feel joy when I have a house full of people and everyone is having a good time. I feel joy when I sing in the car to my heavenly Father.
My job gives me a lot of time on the road. It gives me a lot of time that I call my worship time. I put my music on and just SING MY HEART OUT. When I am doing that, I feel so close to my God. I feel like I am in His presence when I am doing that. I desire for everyone to feel that. That is my path. My path is to spread the joy. But how can I spread joy if I am losing sight of it in my life? How can I show someone something that I have lost sight of??
I am working towards a huge decision in my life. I know what I am supposed to do. I know where I am supposed to be, but getting there, getting everything is going to be a battle. I know I am to spread the joy. So I am getting the joy back. I am doing what I am supposed to do. I know it. I am sure! Now I need to take the steps to get there. I am a child of the true and living God. I am royalty. I have been given the most amazing gift. I have eternal life, because my God loves me that much! I am ready to follow the path he has for me. This blog has a lot of I in it. I am one person in the world. I am but one tiny human on the Earth, and I am ready to make my life significant. Not for anyone to know, not for anyone to say, Wow!!! Look at Lisa and see what she is doing. I am ready for me.
I want people to know what I am doing not for the pats on the back, I want people to see God's love. I want people to see God. No matter how they see it. I am a servant. I am but a soldier in the Army of God. God's love is surrounding me, and I just want to scream from the top of the highest building that he loves me. HE LOVES ME!!! He allows me to work for Him!!! I want to do His work.
If you have read the Bible, you have seen what impact one person can have. Saul. He killed Christians. He persecuted them and stoned them to death. That was his job. SAUL KILLED CHILDREN OF GOD!!! Seriously???? Saul, then on a dirt road was blinded by God himself, was imprisoned, and by the GRACE of God, survived. He then became one of the most influential missionaries of the New Testament, Paul. God took someone who killed His children, someone who persecuted His precious children and turned into someone who brought thousands to Christ. If he can forgive Paul. If He can use someone who lived a life so far apart from Him, then what have I been waiting for? I AM A CHILD OF GOD! I love Him!
So, how do I go about working for God? Can I do it here?? Yep! Can I do it at work? Yep. Can I do it in South Sudan, Africa? Yep!!! So, if you are still reading this... I need to ask a favor. I need prayer. I need prayer for strength and guidance. I need prayer for whatever God has planned for me that it happens. That I know what I need to do, but how?? Faith! FAITH!!!!!! I know I have faith. I know that God has huge plans for me, I just need to listen. Please pray that I will listen. Pray that I do the work of God as He sees it.
I know the blog is all over the place. I know it seems weird, but I need to write somewhere. I need to release somewhere. I know my PATH! I am a blessed child of God! Thank you God for loving me. Thank you for being patient. Thank you for always loving me, no matter how far I stray. You are the good Shepard, who would leave His flock of 99 to come that one. I don't want to be that one any longer. I want to be in your arms. I want to feel the love from you! Thank you for loving me!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Ramblings and Thoughts

I would like to say first, this is my blog. These are my feelings. I know some will disagree, but this is how I am feeling tonight. Please read, and if you would like to leave a comment, please feel free.

     As more time goes on and I become more and more aware of this world, and why things happen the way they do, I have come to the realization that no matter what happens I have to continue to have faith. While sitting in Greenville, SC today, I was made aware of a school shooting in Coweta, OK. No it did not make the national news, because no one was shot, it was a suicide by a student. It is so unfortunate that things like this happen. We can blame, bullying, we can blame, gun control, or the parents, or whatever you want. Here is my thought, unless you are the person who has made the decision to commit suicide, or go into a school, or a public place and open fire, then you don't have the room to say anything.
     New laws, or more gun control, or parenting classes, or even more religion, is going to fix this issue. Unfortunately for us, people are going to do what they want to do no matter what is forced on them.
As many of you know, I am VERY religious person. I live MY life, as much as I can, the way God would want ME to. I do believe that my role in life is to glorify GOD in everything  I do. As a Christian, I believe that is what I am to do. But not everyone is a Christian. Other Christians also believe the foundation that I believe, but have many different views on the "Christian Religion" So I know as Christians, we are to spread the Word of God, and believe me I believe that, but when others force their thoughts and views on to someone else, it frustrates me.
       I have seen on Facebook today many friends saying, gun control, or bullying is the issue, after the news of the school shooting in Coweta. I know it is difficult to understand why someone would take their life. If you haven't been there, then you haven't been there. But, something was going on with that child. Something was wrong. Be it at home or at school. Was it bullying? Maybe. Was it their parents? Could be. Was this child depressed? Crazy? Under the influence of drugs? again, maybe.
I know I am rambling, but my thoughts are not all together right now. I do not feel like I force my way of life on anyone. You can ask anyone who is close to me. They know what I believe. They know my faith, but I don't force it, or even use it as a weapon as I saw today on Facebook.
If you knew the Christian faith, it is our job to "plant the seed". To let people know our faith, to share our faith, and live like Christ. Condemning someone because "there isn't enough God in school" in my opinion is wrong.
        Christ loved everyone. He was not judgemental. He loved. Period. That is MY belief. I am absolutely aware of other faiths. Being in the profession that I am in, I constantly travel. I have gotten out of the "Bible Belt" that is Oklahoma. It truly is like a bubble of every type of Protestant church you could think of. I know not all believe in Christ, and I know of some good friends of mine that are actually Atheists. Even though we do not agree on a religious standpoint, we do agree that there are many flaws with society as a whole. As I said before, I had some friends on Facebook today state that the shooting and everything are happening because we don't have GOD in school. Or that we, as a society, have pushed GOD out of our schools. In my opinion, that is not true. If you want truth, to pray in school, is not illegal. To hold a church service during lunch or any other time, that does not disrupt school, is not illegal. We as a society, have forgotten GOD. The government has nothing to do with it. My friend, William Poire, who is the Oklahoma State Director of American Atheists, INC has opened my eyes, and my heart, to truly understanding what it is to be a decent human. Christian or not, his organization and William himself, has taught me more about my religion then many of my Christian friends. He truly is the example of what a "good person" is. No matter what he "believes" him and I have had many religious discussions and debates concerning lots of issues. This issue, the one that I am having tonight, we agree. GOD is still in schools. Government has not taken that away from us as a nation. We did it to ourselves. This is how I see it.
        There is a story out there about a husband and a wife. And how when they were younger, the wife would always sit next to her husband on the bench seat of the truck. She wanted to be as close to him as possible, because she loved him so much. As time passed, she started moving further and further away getting closer to the passenger side door. Their marriage started to have issues, and she felt distant from him. The problems that the wife saw were distance and no communication. Finally, the wife was fed up, and told her husband that she felt like they don't connect anymore. That she felt alone, and unloved, and that he was doing nothing to try to fix it. That's when the husband said, I never moved, you moved away from me. The woman drifted from her husband, where her husband was steady and stayed strong, waiting for her to come back. That's how I look at religion and how our society is now. WE (as Christians) HAVE MOVED AWAY. We can try to blame anyone but ourselves. But think about that story. As Christians, are we afraid to stand up? Do we not contain the knowledge necessary to make an informed decisions about what we think we know and what we know? How can we throw the first stone knowing that we ourselves fall short?
        I know a lot of this doesn't make sense. What I wanted to get across tonight. I do not feel like, as a Christian, I can use the word of GOD, or the lack of GOD in the schools, or anything along those lines, when I do not have the full understanding of the 1st Amendment. Government has not taken GOD out of schools, we as Christians have taken OUR GOD out of schools. If you want GOD in school bring him yourself. Don't force your religion on someone. Why do you think it is okay for Christians to force "GOD in Schools" How would you feel if your child was forced to be a part of an Islamic prayer? Or your child was forced to celebrate Hanukkah? Its not fair to be the "stereotypical" Christian, and force our religion. Again, it is not our government taking God out of schools it us. Before you go around using the Bible or God as weapon, please understand how to use it, and that not everyone in this world is a Christian. Remember, Christ loved EVERYONE! Not just the Christians. Aren't we supposed to be like Christ?