Sunday, February 19, 2012

Emotional Ramblings.....

Usually I write blogs that are concerning my life, or my job. This one will not be like the rest. I have so much on my mind right now. I have decided to write, so whatever comes out is what is going to come out.
Being an emotional person has its good times and bad times. Emotional doesn't always mean crazy, being upset all the time or anything like that. I do describe myself as an emotional creature, but not always in a bad way.
I am emotional in every essence of the word. When I get excited about something, I show true joy. When I am upset about something I also, show how upset I am. I have no qualms about being an emotional person. I enjoy embracing my feelings and most of the time wearing them on my sleeve.
Everyone who is apart of my life knows that I am so adamant about certain things. My faith, my relationships, my family, and my career. Without emotions, what would life be like?
Some people don't show their emotions as much as I do. I have people in my life that are too emotional as well as pretty much a brick wall. Feeling and emotions, in my life, are vital. I show how I feel, and if you don't understand it, then here I am trying to explain it.
No matter when you (all of you) were at one time, or are now, apart of my life, you know that I love unconditionally. I will walk to the ends of the Earth for someone who is important to me. Sometimes, it bites me in the ass and sometimes, I have those moments with the people in my life that I would never get, unless I was there by your side through something that sucks, or one of the happiest moments of your life. I feel like no matter what happens in my life, that I make the choices that I make for a reason. Do I get screwed sometimes, well of course. But being there for a friend and everything working out somehow out weighs the times that I get screwed.
My major problem with being so emotional is that I want to make sure that everything is okay. I mother people like crazy. Some need it, and some do not need it. But, it is who I am. No matter what happens, I want to be there, I want to help, I want to be that shoulder to cry on, I want to be that one that you laugh with, cry with and, grieve with. I want to be there no matter what. Certain people don't understand why I do this. They think I get involved, or but into situations that do not concern me, but I am here to tell you, I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. This is how I am...I care, and it isn't going to change.
This is all stemming from some situations that have recently happened in my life. Nothing is wrong, no one is sick or anything like that, but my concern for some people is taking over my mind. Even though the close people in my life say I shouldn't concern myself with issues that I cant do anything about, but I worry. I will always worry. I will always think about you, I will worry if you are okay, or if you are happy. If things are getting too tough. I will worry. Although, my biblical background tells me not to worry, (Matthew 6:25) It is what is taking over my mind right now.
I care too much sometimes. I think constantly about how I can help someone, or how I can make someones day better. I have no idea why I am like this, but I am. I am not writing this blog to sit here and talk about how I am this wonderful selfless person. This is not what this is about. This is about the pain that I have in my heart for you. (You being unnamed) I constantly worry if you are okay, or happy, or making it. I constantly pray for you, I pray for you to be okay.
In my current situation, I am unable to physically be in Tulsa, I do not always know what is going on, or your troubles or your concerns, or issues. But I am here. I am praying for you.
Blogging for me is way to show my emotions. Some do not agree with putting your feelings or opinions out there in the world for everyone to read, but as my big brother and I have discussed, this is for me. This is how I show my emotions. (Sometimes I just come out and show them) But being all across America, this is the way I download. That is the only way I can describe it. Writing (typing) down all of my feelings or fears, or concerns, thoughts, opinions, ETC.....this is my download. I feel better when I write.
If you have made it this far in my blog...thank you. I try very hard to keep my blogs as PC as possible, but tonight was basically me getting everything out that I could. Thank you for listening.
My next blog will be better...I promise.
I love ALL of you! Truly I do!

1 comment:

  1. Though many times people will not understand what exactly you're blogging about, or why you choose a particular topic it can be a really good thing to get those thoughts out there. You're growing to be such a wonderful woman and I'm very proud of you. It is never wrong to worry or be concerned. Just do us a favor and don't let it take away from the wonderful woman we're so luck to have in our lives. ;)